What makes you feel successful ?
This story is called » The pink coloured glasses » and today I want to share about how I have been working with this brilliant client who said:
« I am successful but I don’t feel it! I have a loving husband, two adorable kids, I created my own company with 10 people working for me yet I don’t FEEL that I am successful and instead, I always see the cup half-empty. Can you help? I’d like to change the colour of my glasses ».
Alice was curious to try NLP as a way to shift how she experienced her world. I have been working with her on several dimensions:
First, we explored the main question: What was HER definition of success? For her, it meant to generate more revenue (outer result) AND to feel excited and proud of herslef (internal fulfillment) instead of agitated and anxious.
So for the last couple months we have used the following modalities:
1. Anchoring: to have her connect with a sense of excitement in her daily life.
2. Focus: we had her understand that « where focus goes, energy flows so that she decided to question her defeating, « half-empty glass » thoughts and instead, focus on what she could actually appreciate. I also invited her to practice the Positive Psychology « what went well » exercice each evening.
3. Focus (clients): replaced the old habit of automatically noticing the clients perceived defaults, to have her look for « the qualities she could appreciate in his clients ». This shifted her mood.
4. Appreciation and gratitude: instead of diminishing and even ignoring her wins like new clients acquisition or positive feedbacks, she created rituals to make sure she took time to feel grateful + acknowledge + celebrate her small and big wins, either alone, or also with her family and staff.
5. We redefined her LIFE CORE VALUES especially FREEDOM, the number one. She realized that she wanted to appreciate it more and spend more time to play with her children or dedicate herself to painting and drawing.
6. To generate more income, more staff was needed but the previous recruitments weren’t successful. I helped her refine their recruitment process and make sure she would assess candidates’ values and soft skills through their non verbal communication and interviews pitches.
7. Finally we used an NLP belief update process to change her beliefs around « the unknown and unpredictable » – so that instead of getting nervous and irritable, she would get excited each time she will face « unknown and unpredictable » situations, especially at work.
At the end of the session she said:
« Wow, that’s a lot of new things, and I have to practice now, I have to implement all this in my daily life. That’s like building many new muscles at the gym…
Me: « That’s right, and this process is called « reprogramming » your brain, welcome to the wonderful world of NLP!
Each time you choose a different thought, you shift your focus to what you actually want and what works, each time you do something new, you’re actually creating new neural pathways.
And this new way of thinking and experiencing life will by and by become your NEW automatic, default mode. Over a few months it will become a neuro-highway instead of a little trail ».
I added: « From now on, you can simply track « What is different? » each day to make sure you bring your focus to the NEW things in your life. This is one of the surest ways to grow your self-awareness »
Alice is happier and more motivated in her daily life. She also feels reassured to feel that yes, she can change her inner experience of success and wear a different colour glasses: pink instead of grey.
So which colour are your own glasses? Want to change this?
Drop me a line or two.
Happy Easter Y’all!