You may agree or not, but I believe that the “Impostor Syndrome” is just a mental construct, a trick from the ego. I’d rather call this a “distracted mind” or “lack of presence”.
Why?
Because the so-called « Impostor Syndrome » is merely a self-focused internal dialogue.
Imagine a situation where you are talking with your boss, your colleague or your client.
Suddenly something happens and you stop listening. You become absorbed by your internal dialogue, a familiar self-destructive voice that goes like:
“What if this person discovered that I am incapable of xyz… Poor me, I am so scared, I am ashamed, I am not enough xyz, I am lacking of xyz…What are other people gonna think about me?
What would happen if they found out that I am “less than xyz”?
And so on.
So what’s the remedy to this distraction?
As Steve Chandler says :”No more internal psychological self-flagellation and excessive fascination with my own worries and fears and self-concepts”.
So true !
Instead, be present.
Decide to focus on being in service.
Turn off the volume of your worrying voice and just listen.
Listen to the person you are with.
Listen with all the cells of your body. With your heart.
And listen to the silence between the words.
As you are listening, what do you understand about the person’s world ?
As you are paying attention to their voice, their tone, the pace of the words, what can you feel about their emotional state ?
As you observe the person’s body language, their facial expression, their breathing pattern, what do you notice?
Now, can you truly connect with them?
What do they need?
Can you make this person feel fully seen, heard, valued, and understood ?
How can you help?
That’s the remedy to the impostor’s syndrome. Being present and listening. Understanding the other. The remedy is to shift your focus from self to others with the pure intention to connect, to build authentic relationships and to be in service.
And as Christmas is just around the corner, let’s remember that the most beautiful present you can offer someone is your full and complete Presence. So let’s nurture the connections that are important in our life, with the gift of our Presence.
